Expostulation with Oneself
Chapter 130 – Expostulation with Oneself / Nenjotupulaththal
Couplets / kuratpaakal
Couplet 1291
You see his heart is his alone
O heart, why not be all my own.
Explanation
O my soul! although you have seen how his soul stands by him, how is it you do not stand by me?.
Transliteration
Avarnenju Avarkkaadhal Kantum Evannenje
Neeemakku Aakaa Thadhu.
Couplet 1292
‘Tis plain, my heart, that he ‘s estranged from thee;
Why go to him as though he were not enemy.
Explanation
O my soul! although you have known him who does not love me, still do you go to him, saying “he will not be displeased.”.
Transliteration
Uraaa Thavarkkanta Kannum Avaraich
Cheraaarenach Cheriyen Nenju.
Couplet 1293
‘The ruined have no friends, ‘they say; and so, my heart,
To follow him, at thy desire, from me thou dost depart.
Explanation
O my soul! do you follow him at pleasure under the belief that the ruined have no friends?.
Transliteration
Kettaarkku Nattaaril Enpadho Nenjenee
Pettaangu Avarpin Selal.
Couplet 1294
‘See, thou first show offended pride, and then submit,’ I bade;
Henceforth such council who will share with thee my heart.
Explanation
O my soul! you would not first seem sulky and then enjoy (him); who then would in future consult you about such things?.
Transliteration
Inianna Ninnotu Soozhvaaryaar Nenje
Thuniseydhu Thuvvaaikaan Matru.
Couplet 1295
I fear I shall not gain, I fear to lose him when I gain;
And thus my heart endures unceasing pain.
Explanation
My soul fears when it is without him; it also fears when it is with him; it is subject to incessant sorrow.
Transliteration
Peraaamai Anjum Perinpirivu Anjum
Araaa Itumpaiththen Nenju.
Couplet 1296
My heart consumes me when I ponder lone,
And all my lover’s cruelty bemoan.
Explanation
My mind has been (here) in order to eat me up (as it were) whenever I think of him in my solitude.
Transliteration
Thaniye Irundhu Ninaiththakkaal Ennaith
Thiniya Irundhadhen Nenju.
Couplet 1297
Fall’n ‘neath the sway of this ignoble foolish heart,
Which will not him forget, I have forgotten shame.
Explanation
I have even forgotten my modesty, having been caught in my foolish mind which is not dignified enough to forget him.
Transliteration
Naanum Marandhen Avarmarak Kallaaen
Maanaa Matanenjir Pattu.
Couplet 1298
If I contemn him, then disgrace awaits me evermore;
My soul that seeks to live his virtues numbers o’er.
Explanation
My soul which clings to life thinks only of his (own) gain in the belief that it would be disgraceful for it to despise him.
Transliteration
Ellin Ilivaamendru Enni Avardhiram
Ullum Uyirkkaadhal Nenju.
Couplet 1299
And who will aid me in my hour of grief,
If my own heart comes not to my relief.
Explanation
Who would help me out of one’s distress, when one’s own soul refuses help to one?.
Transliteration
Thunpaththirku Yaare Thunaiyaavaar Thaamutaiya
Nenjan Thunaiyal Vazhi.
Couplet 1300
A trifle is unfriendliness by aliens shown,
When our own heart itself is not our own.
Explanation
It is hardly possible for strangers to behave like relations, when one’s own soul acts like a stranger.
Transliteration
Thanjam Thamarallar Edhilaar Thaamutaiya
Nenjam Thamaral Vazhi.
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